Lucky you. You don't have to cook the turkey, wash loads of extra towels or entertain a houseful of kids who can't sit still.
Congratulations on snaring the be-my-guest role. Unfortunately, that's not always so easy when you throw three or four generations, blended families, and a bathroom shortage into the mix.
"Take a deep breath and remember that we love our friends and relatives," advises Sally Geisse, a San Francisco mom who, as one of 11 kids, has a lot of experience as both a holiday host and a holiday guest.
A friend of mine in the Midwest, who, for obvious reasons, asked to remain anonymous, suffered from horrible back pain thanks to the new sofa bed in her in-laws' den.
"I come from the don't-make-waves school of guest-hood," she says. "So when they asked me how the sofa bed was, I told them how nice it looked in the room - and I slept on the floor."
She's giving her in-laws an air mattress for Christmas - just in time for her visit.
Then there's the problem of bringing your kids to a house that's not especially kid-friendly (read: full of white carpeting and upholstery).
"Putting kids in an overly grown-up environment for an extended period of time is asking for trouble," says Dr. David Fassler, a Vermont child psychiatrist and author who hears a lot of holiday horror stories.
The situation can be even more complicated when new stepchildren or stepparents have been added to the group.
"Don't feel forced into doing things you don't want to do or that feel uncomfortable," says Fassler. "If people really don't get along, it may not work to create one big, happy family."
We're often so harried in our efforts to be perfect guests or perfect hosts that we forget how much better it would be if we didn't try so hard. Here’s how:
Don't forget the thank-you note.
By: Eileen Ogintz
